As I’m writing this now, it is 4.59pm, and I found out the news that I have lost the Sub36 apprentice of the year award. I’d like to capture my thoughts.
So, to catch everyone up and give you some context, over the summer I applied for the Sub36 awards, a ceremony that celebrates Lancashire passed businesses, employees, leaders and apprentices. I obviously applied for their apprentice award. Which was a funny sort of process. Writing about yourself and having to really brag about your achievements… it can feel quite awkward. But nonetheless I gave it a go, and I was delighted to learn soon after that I had been listed as a finalist for the award.
The next step was a formal (Zoom-ed) interview with a panel of judges representing a cross section of the Lancastrian business community where I would have to deliver a presentation and then have be asked questions by the judges. To prepare, Mark (Artz Boss) set up a mock interview for me with some of his colleagues from the professional world, who then gave me feedback before the real thing. When it was time for the formal interview, I can’t lie… I loved it! Any chance to talk about the journey I have had at the Artz Centre I really enjoy, so I really enjoyed being able to have that discussion.
Cut forward to tonight, where in the Artz Café Library I have been live-streaming the virtual event. And as the time came to for the winner to be announced… someone else’s name was called.
Contrary to what I suppose is ‘the stereotype’ or what is maybe how many people could react… I’m actually still just as happy with myself as I was 2 hours ago before the awards ceremony. Now I know what you’re thinking “oh he’s going to say he isn’t disappointed but of course he’s disappointed… anyone would be at least a little disappointed.” Trust me… it would be a lot easier to say that yes I’m a little disappointed but oh well. However if I said that then it’d be just lying to provide people with an easy to understand reaction.
Here’s the three reasons why, as a 21 year old, competitive guy I can be very happy with losing. To give you a clue before I dive into it: I don’t lose.
The award isn’t the prize
Put quite simply… I love my job. Specifically I love the work I do. But I don’t love it because it could win me an award, or because it will get me noticed by people. If that were the case, and those were my motivations then I don’t think I’d have been able to accomplish nearly half as much as I have done in the last year. So although trophies are great… I never went into this process wanting a trophy, because every day in my job I go to bed thankful to have be an apprentice at the Artz Centre.
So although I won’t be walking away with a trophy tonight… I will still be walking away with unbelievable pride in the students I work with, a team of creatives around me who constantly inspire me and I’m walking away still apart of a company where I can work on some of the most exciting projects I can think of. If you ask me… I certainly feel like a winner. So a little bit of advice, if I may, to any young person going into a job, starting a degree, or beginning any long term commitment. Check on your motivations… if you’re in it for the prize at the end of the process then there’s a chance you won’t get it. However if the process is the prize… you can’t lose.
Raising the benchmark
Maybe you’re wondering ‘well… if you weren’t bothered about winning the award why did you enter in the first place’. That’s a question I asked myself halfway through the application process. Honestly the idea didn’t sit right with me… why spend so much time boasting about the work I’ve done when I could be spending that actually doing work. Then when I got the talk to two of my mock interview panellists; Donna Bradshaw (CEO and Leadership coach) and Lucinda McArthur (Senior Advisor to the NHS CCG), they helped me see the benefit of awards like this. That benefit is to raise the benchmark.
By applying for awards like these it helps, even in some small way, change the collective perception about how young people can get a job in the arts. I talk often and proudly about how I didn’t take a conventional route into this amazing job. And by shouting more and more just how amazing this job is, my hope is that it may inspire others to realise that alternative pathways into arts based jobs definitely exist. Even though that objective hasn’t gone to plan I’m still made up for the guy who did win, because he’s still raising the benchmark. When you get rid of the ego… it seems quite simple… whether I won or lost, the fact is someone won, and that is something to celebrate.
If at first you don’t succeed…
Sometimes, you’ve got to eat a bit of humble pie, take the loss and then (most importantly) get over it! There’s still work to be done and there’s still an impact to make. What there isn’t… is time to waste being disappointed. The first thing I thought when the ceremony ended was ‘well, I guess I’d better make sure I do better the next time’. Something I’ve learned since starting my apprenticeship is that persistence, consistency and resilience are essential to succeeding in anything you set out to do. So watch this space…
So, no I didn’t win the Sub36 Award, but I definitely haven’t lost either. It has been an opportunity to learn a lot about myself and my mindset. Plus, another young apprentice has taken home the prize and helped to prove the value of apprenticeships. Not to mention the fact that the Sub36 awards are recognising apprenticeships in the first place! If you ask me there’s far too much to celebrate; leaving no time to disappointed and when you look at it that way… you simply cannot lose.